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2007-04-28 Mister Saint: This poem is fine, but I think that it could use some sort of imagery, something to get the readers' attentions. It needs some kind of personal spin, especially since this particular theme is such a well-travelled theme. 2007-04-30 Jenna Rose: I'm thinking of making a second "version". Because I do want to expand on it, but I love it how it is too. 2007-04-30 Mister Saint: That's all you. *nods* But you ought to consider using a few poetic devices in your poetry, if you can.[Jenna Rose]: 150.Poetry.One Last Time
Rating: 0.70 Uploaded by: Created: 2007-04-26 20:40:21Previous:Keywords: poetry love romance longing war leavingGenre:RomanceStyle:poetryLicense:Free for reading
Ratings would be very appreciated :)
One Last Time
Today was our last day together,
We spent it on the shore.
Not caring about the weather...
Walking hand in hand through the rain.
Tomorrow you’re leaving me
To go off to that damned war...
It’s something you have to do, we agree,
But that doesn’t make it any better.
So I cling to you tonight;
Whispering in your ear,
Holding you tight...
Asking you to love me.
“Love me, love me...
Tonight, be all mine.
Please love me...
One last time.”